Hello blog readers! Sorry I have done an extra terrible job of updating, life as a habit of getting in the way and all that.
Anywho, I have been pretty good about my diet, I did have some Easter colored M&M's earlier this week. Worth it though! I have been sick for the past few weeks, which means I have not felt like working out at all. In any way. Instead I have been sleeping a lot and drinking tons of fluids. Now that I am feeling better I will be doing a lot of exercising, I actually miss it! Who would have thought that I would miss working out? Not this kid. Unfortunately with the being sick I have backslided on the weight. I have been eating a ton of carbs for energy and since that seemed to be the only thing I found appetizing. I am now back to only 10 pounds down. This will not stand! I hate that I gained some back. UNACCEPTABLE!
I run into an issue of time, but I have decided that I will just have to make it work. For example, today I get off of work at 330 and will be going straight home to run and walk. I will not let this beat me! I am way too strong to be beaten by anything.
What's really sad is that it has taken me this long to realize what a problem my weight is. I have always been told that I have a pretty face, and I guess I figured that was enough. But you know what? I desperately want to be able to shop at Banana Republic without feeling sad that I can't wear their dresses. I want to be one of those people who is proud of their body, not hiding it in mom jeans and sweaters. I have never really had an issue with confidence on the outside, but secretly I am wildly insecure. I worry people will judge me, not like me, talk about me. As I have gotten older I have realized how ridiculous this is. Some people will never like you, and those who do should like you for who you truly are.
I know this is a process, and that I won't lose 100 pounds in 2 months or anything that crazy. But I have always been a results person, I like immediate gratification. I have never been a patient woman.
Yes, I am embarrassed by my weight. But you know what is really scary? What if I lose this weight and I do not have a pretty face. Or if I try to lose the weight and I cannot do it? I hate disappointing others, especially those that I love. So I am scared that if I try and fail then I will have no one to blame but myself.
I know this sounds like a lot of complaining, and this blog is one of empowerment not self pity. Any words of wisdom would be great
Anywho, I have been pretty good about my diet, I did have some Easter colored M&M's earlier this week. Worth it though! I have been sick for the past few weeks, which means I have not felt like working out at all. In any way. Instead I have been sleeping a lot and drinking tons of fluids. Now that I am feeling better I will be doing a lot of exercising, I actually miss it! Who would have thought that I would miss working out? Not this kid. Unfortunately with the being sick I have backslided on the weight. I have been eating a ton of carbs for energy and since that seemed to be the only thing I found appetizing. I am now back to only 10 pounds down. This will not stand! I hate that I gained some back. UNACCEPTABLE!
I run into an issue of time, but I have decided that I will just have to make it work. For example, today I get off of work at 330 and will be going straight home to run and walk. I will not let this beat me! I am way too strong to be beaten by anything.
What's really sad is that it has taken me this long to realize what a problem my weight is. I have always been told that I have a pretty face, and I guess I figured that was enough. But you know what? I desperately want to be able to shop at Banana Republic without feeling sad that I can't wear their dresses. I want to be one of those people who is proud of their body, not hiding it in mom jeans and sweaters. I have never really had an issue with confidence on the outside, but secretly I am wildly insecure. I worry people will judge me, not like me, talk about me. As I have gotten older I have realized how ridiculous this is. Some people will never like you, and those who do should like you for who you truly are.
I know this is a process, and that I won't lose 100 pounds in 2 months or anything that crazy. But I have always been a results person, I like immediate gratification. I have never been a patient woman.
Yes, I am embarrassed by my weight. But you know what is really scary? What if I lose this weight and I do not have a pretty face. Or if I try to lose the weight and I cannot do it? I hate disappointing others, especially those that I love. So I am scared that if I try and fail then I will have no one to blame but myself.
I know this sounds like a lot of complaining, and this blog is one of empowerment not self pity. Any words of wisdom would be great
No comments:
Post a Comment